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What’s the difference between those who are defeated by struggle and those who are sharpened by it? Between those who are broken by pain and those who are made wiser by it? Resilience.
For us to blossom out of a seed of pain and flourish in wisdom, it requires resilience. It IS possible to make meaning out of a mess, and my guest today is going to tell us how.
Whether by choice or circumstances out of our control, we all have moments where we feel like we’ve been punched out, dragged down, or knocked out. Bianca Olthoff is convinced that true power is getting back up, and that success isn’t only for the smart, talented, or well-connected. She wants to support you when you’re in the midst of your messy middle, and that’s exactly what she’ll share with you today.
Bianca is the Co-Lead Pastor of The Father’s House Orange County and was named one of Christians top 30 leaders under 30 by Relevant Magazine. She averages 35 speaking events a year outside of her church, and her podcast, We’re Going There, has over 2 million downloads!
Her brand new book, Grit Don’t Quit is out NOW and today she’s going to share some of the leading principles in the book including how to cultivate perseverance in all that we do, how to train the brain to become more resilient, as well as how to increase emotional, mental, and spiritual strength.
Listen closely for the five questions to answer if you’re thinking about quitting – because let’s be honest, sometimes quitting IS the right thing. This isn’t an episode filled with toxic positivity, it’s an honest look at what grit, resilience, and discernment can bring into your life as you navigate when to push and when to throw in the towel.
The Power of Perseverance
In today’s fast-paced and instant gratification society, where everything is easily accessible with just a tap or a swipe, it’s easy to give up when things get tough or take longer than expected. But Bianca teaches us that true growth and transformation often come from facing challenges head-on and persevering through difficult times. It’s during these moments that we discover our true strength and potential
Perseverance allows us to push through obstacles, setbacks, and failures, ultimately leading us to achieve our goals. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and keep moving forward.
But something that Bianca shared on the podcast that really resonated with me is that both perseverance and resilience are learned disciplines that require practice and determination. They are not innate qualities that only a ‘select few’ possess. ANYONE can develop these qualities by cultivating a growth mindset and adopting certain strategies.
How To Be More Resilient
There are so many golden nuggets of wisdom that Bianca shares in our conversation, so I highly encourage you to press play on your favorite podcast player above! One of my favorite parts of our conversation was our discussion on how we can be more resilient when life throws us curve balls.
According to Bianca, there are 4 important aspects of perseverance and being resilient:
- Have a clear vision and purpose: because with a clear “why,” it becomes easier for you to stay motivated and push through challenges.
- Surround yourself with a support system: being around like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement and guidance can greatly contribute to our ability to persevere.
- Develop problem-solving skills and the ability to adapt to change: life is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable, but being able to think creatively and find solutions to problems can help us overcome obstacles and keep moving forward.
- Prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being: this allows us to recharge and replenish our energy, making it easier to persevere through difficult times.
Bianca also shared the three hallmarks of resilient people:
- Perspective: having an honest and realistic view of one’s current reality, while maintaining hope, involves acknowledging the difficulties or setbacks one may be facing, but also recognizing that there are potential solutions or ways to improve the situation. This perspective allows us to face our challenges head-on and take proactive steps towards finding solutions. It is about having a balanced view of the situation, acknowledging the negative aspects while also holding onto hope for a better outcome.
- Pivot: when faced with a roadblock, rather than giving up or feeling defeated, those with resilience are able to think creatively and find alternative ways to achieve their goals. They are willing to let go of their original plans and embrace new strategies or approaches that may lead to success, even if it means stepping outside our comfort zone!
- Purpose: find meaning or significance in the midst of pain or adversity. When you can see the purpose behind your struggles, you are far more likely to persevere and stay motivated towards their goals. Purpose provides a sense of direction and fuels the determination to overcome obstacles. It’s about finding the silver lining in difficult situations and using them as stepping stones towards personal and professional growth!
Aren’t these principles incredible? Bianca seriously blew me away with these tactical strategies we can apply to ANY life situation!
5 Questions to Determine If It’s Time to Quit
Knowing when to quit is a crucial skill for entrepreneurs and individuals in any season of life. Below are the 5 questions Bianca recommends asking yourself when determining when to quit and when to persevere.
- What exactly is frustrating me? It is SO important to identify the specific reasons for frustration in order to make an informed decision. Because if you can’t articulate that, you’re going to be led by willy-nilly feelings and you won’t really know what you need to work on.
- Can I fix this? If the situation is fixable, it may be worth exploring solutions before deciding to quit. Evaluate whether the issues you’re facing can be resolved through personal growth, communication, or problem-solving.
- Is it me? Self-reflection is crucial in determining whether the frustration lies within oneself or with external factors. Sometimes, personal growth and change may be necessary before making a decision.
- Is this the best decision for my future? Considering the long-term consequences of quitting or staying can help you make a more informed decision. Ask yourself: what would my future look like if I walk away?
- Am I released? This question delves into the realm of emotions and intuition. Consider whether you feel a sense of release or freedom when thinking about leaving a situation, and trust your instincts!
Of course, these questions may vary depending on the context, whether it be a friendship, relationship, job, or contract. So be sure to adapt these questions to fit the specific situation at hand–but we hope this helps you the next time you’re struggling with whether to stay or walk away!
If you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did, follow Bianca on Instagram, get her book Grit Don’t Quit, and visit her website!
